I’ve been up all the night wanting to finish writing this however I really should’ve been sleeping. But at times I’m like a dog with a bone or should I say a wolf. Lol As sometimes I just don’t know when to finish but I am now. I’m currently suffering from some chronic pain ATM but I always find that writing, sketching, photography,practising or reading about all kinds of Magick etc always distracts my mind from my pain. It’s amazing how powerful the brain can truly be at times. If I go really desperate with my pain I always have the wonderful healing “plant familiar” on standby if I really need to use it. Which I’ve written about quite extensively in my 2nd blog post last month entitled: “Entheogens, Consciousness and Chronic Pain”. I’ve done this all so many times before that it’s sometimes part of my regular lifestyle now but not always because sometimes there are some occasions where I have no choice but to leave my coffin…er I mean bed..lol..of course..occasionally even in the early in the morning. Gee do I truly hate that…..apart from beautiful sunrises which I do see at times. I love watching sunrises and sunsets especially from our home on the cliffs, on the beach and very occasionally even from our old lonely old local cemetery.
Our local cemetery is very old by Australian standards and is usually always deserted at any given time. Which I think is very sad for the people whom have been buried there, especially when I know that most of those early settlers buried there whom built there farms the hard way, whom now have 2-3 sometimes even 4 generations living in our town and/or living and working on the surrounding farms. If not for their ancestors doing all the hard work in early South Australia’s history none of them would have inherited a valuable farm which they all take for granted. Anyway there have been quite a few of them restless undead/spirits or muertos, ghosts or however “you like to refer to them”? That alI’ve had to deal with them personally which can be very tiring and sometimes even dangerous, dealing with those that have died in very tragic circumstances etc. However that’s another long story for yet another blog post perhaps next time? Please let me know either via comments below and/or email me and give me some of your questions and/or ideas? Especially as this one here on WordPress is quite new for me. I’m still trying to work out many things on here, even just the menu etc. I still have for more to learn on WordPress that’s for sure!
Anyway living like a “night own and sometimes being up all night is great. But I realise the for many if not most, couldn’t and shouldn’t live this lifestyle as it would interfere with their work and/or family life and friends etc? However for me sometimes when I am watching the sunrise, it’s like a “cue for me to go to bed”. Lol I guess I’m a bit lucky when I really think about it because I am able to live this way when I really want to and I really don’t care what other’s think about it? However I’m quite sure that most people have far more to think about than me being a night owl or whatever, right? Right is what I thought too…until I talked to this lady in a shop here recently.
I’m telling you all here the truth of course others what is the point of having a blog right! “This is whom I truly am” and I get really sick of hiding it from many others. All my family know the truth of course and most of my friends do now too. Its only been about close to 3 years since I finally came “out of the broom closet”! Not only about being a Witch, as all my family and closest friend’s knew that I was/am a Witch & Occultist already. Mainly because I read tarot, runes & all types of divination & spirit work too. I find it more of a “stigma” would you believe is people finding out the late and/or early night hours that I keep! However I’ve been able to do so for a long time specially as I used to be hyperactive since I was a child. However now because of chronic pain etc. it’s not so easy to pull off these days as you could well imagine because my body can’t take all the pain, as well as my body aging etc. So Im not as totally nocturnal compared to when I was younger. Lol Note: As an “ex-actress mainly stage work” in the 80s? I’ve always gotten away with hiding nearly everything from nearly everyone that I didn’t want to know. For instance after I come home from an early morning appointment or some social engagement etc. I then totally collapse and just flop into bed and fall into a very, very deep sleep. Then I sleep from say 6.30am until maybe 12-2pm and occasionally even 3pm usually, depending on how late and/or early I’ve gotten to sleep the night before? Lol If I’ve been ill and/or in chronic pain, obviously a go to sleep earlier.
There are so many labels/names that I’ve heard from acquaintances, as well as some friend’s whom are not part of my inner circle, are the funniest. The most “off labels” are from acquaintance of course, such as; she’s a night owl, a Bat, Elder Witch, Older Witch, Vampire, Shapeshifter, Crone, Luciferian, Satanist, lol, Hedge Witch, Eclectic Witch, Chaos Mage, Crazy Witch, Goddess worshipper, Moon Lover, Night Witch, a member of a Cult, a Ceremonial Witch, Follows the Seasons, Just like “Wicca Man”, Gypsy, Pagan, Tree Hugger, Goth, Gothic woman, Night woman, Loves Black, Night Owl and my particular favourite is the story that I heard from a local lady in one of our local shops recently. Here it is below and again I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So I led her on and she just kept on talking about it. Little did she know? But perhaps she did in the end? See what you think?
Here is what she said to me and I am quoted her/our conversation word for word because Im sure that most of you will get some amusement from it all? But it also may annoy you, as it did to me at the time at first, that there is still so much ignorance out there even though it’s now 2015. Any way this is our conversation in our local cheapstore & Bric a’ Back shop. This little known lady to me (not even a well known acquaintance)comes over to me and after saying “hello” to me initially, she then turns right to me and starts off with:; “Have you heard about the Lady on the cliffs”?…”No”..I relied…Then she chats on; “There is this lady who apparently dresses in a black cape with a large hood, she always carries a medium sized wicker basket with all kinds of weird stuff in it. She also carries an old style lamp in her other hand and she’s usually accompanied by a medium sized tannish dog. She usually walks along the cliffs path until she finds a hidden spot. She always walks between the town and always stops before the holiday homes area. Sometimes she also goes onto the actual beach. Wherever she stops she does all kinds of weird stuff”. “Like what”?I relied as I had decided to lead her on and find out what other’s had been staying about me? I’m amazed that anyone had ever seen me? As I don’t ever go out dressed like that unless it’s just before midnight and with the cemetery…I always check it first. Then when I know that nobody is there. I then go back to my car and get out my Witchy Wicca basket etc. with basic magickal supplies and anything that I need for my particular Magick at the time!
Then the older lady replies to me; “Well she sometimes has 2-4 small lanterns and sometimes she lights candles of all kinds which she sticks in the sand! Nobody knows how she uses her candles on the cliffs though? She always uses incense and often sticks them in the sand. She has all sorts of other weird stuff, some say she even how a skull. Then she gets out a sword of some kind, and goodness knows why she uses it? As it could obviously be quite dangerous. She apparently uses it for pointing out to the sea and all kinds of weird stuff all around above her, all around her into the air and sometimes especially on the beach she draws stuff into the ground. I’ve heard she’s got a stick that might be some kind of magic wand? She always always has her dog with her most times anyone has seen her. She is very secretive and nobody know her. Haven’t you heard about her yet”? “No I replied but do tell me more as it sounds like a really interesting story that I could tell my friend’s about too”? I said all this to her whilst I was desperately trying to keep a straight face as you can well imagine. Lol “Some say she might be a Satanist even and releases demons from hell. But I don’t think that because others say she is a Witch and she’s casting spells over or for people? Some say she’s could be a Gypsy, others say she might even be a vampire. Lol But I don’t believe that myself”, said this dear lady in her early 70s. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard? Then this lady added, “Watch out for her as apparently she always uses her sword especially when you can see the moon. She’s very secretive and some say she lives alone in a whack….(wait for it)..,”and she’s got heaps of pets from dogs and cats to snakes. She only ever comes out at night and not many have ever seen her. But those who have, say she always is covered in a large black hooded Cape and sometimes she has a man with her and other times she may have a woman”. Lol ROFLAMO I said to this lady “thanks so much for telling me and I I’ll keep an eye out for her. “But you know she is probably practising healing and helpful Magick to help others and I’m sure she doesn’t cause anybody any harm” I said to her. Then I said; “Sorry I must go now but it’s been magickal talking to you”. Then as I was leaving the little shop I saw almost a lightbulb go off above her head. Lol As she looked at some of my purchases as I was outing them away. Along with some mundane items I had just purchased some large white church candles, a few little coloured candle3, 3 boxes of Dragons blood incense and some craft coloured feathers and two beautiful strong essential oils. I felt her gaze almost burning behind me as I was leaving the shop. My intuition told me obviously that she knew that I was in fact the person whom she had been talking about. Me, known in our small touristy town as; “The Lady of the Cliffs”. Lol Thankfully the lady I was talking to is only an acquaintance, she doesn’t know my full name or whereabouts I live. Not that I am worried about it. I almost felt flattered in a funny way to tell the truth. Lol As Ive only confided to 3 other couples what I practice and why etc.
It just made me realise that there is still so much disinformation out there about what we do and are as Witches especially as where I live there are five churches which is a lot for our small population. However it made me glad because now I’m aware of what other’s know and also that this lady knew whom I really was as I was leaving the shop. As I was getting into my car I waved to her and gave her a “knowing smile”. I have no doubt that this recent encounter may now morph into another but of gossip in our town. In a way I almost felt flattered, “the Lady of the Cliffs”. Lol Or whatever new label people choose to use to describe me?
You see I don’t only suffer from quite a few incurable chronic pain syndromes/injuries mostly caused by injuries from my career working with “young offenders and adolescents at risk”…but I also have Bipolar disorder. It hasn’t been easy to take my own “inner daemons or demons” to do by any means but along with other issues that I’ve had to endure in my lifetime, I use my spirituality in so many positive ways to both heal my inner and outer body and you know my Magick never lets me down!
However like “Stephen Fry” the infamous “actor, writer and academic”, I’ve learnt to go with the flow like Mr. Fry does, As I find that taking any medication for Bipolar disorder always seems to take away my inborn creativity and my inner muse away. That’s why I mostly don’t take these medications hardly ever at all unless I literally can’t sleep at all for 2-3 days. Lol But I’ve always been a night person and I enjoy being nocturnal and at my age I really can’t see myself changing much at all.
I always seem to find that the early hours of the morning/night as in 12am to 3am are the best time for me to do any really serious magickal rituals, spellcrafting, divination, necromancy etcera etc. Why? Because there isn’t so much crazy full on psychic frenetic frenzic interference in the atmosphere or the astral plane etc. The reason it’s so much easier to achieve my magickal goals at this time rather than during the day is because most people are asleep. Compared to during the day where most people are up busy, working, communicating etc etc, just getting on with their own day. It almost feels to me, to use an analogy “like constant static interference through every plane from the astral to our earth plane” non stop all day and every day. Yep I realise that I’m a bit quirky but I feel that to be true to myself I need to be able to live, love, practice Magick and write about the truth that actually is in my life both spiritual and mundane. So if you’ve just joined my blog? Welcome to the ride;)
During the night I adore the feeling of the darkness almost enveloping me like the finest black crushed velvet. It not only calms me but it literally soothes my soul. I’ve always been a night owl and my Mother has told me that I used to get up at night quietly playing with my toys during the night. Then I would quickly jump back into bed so that my parents would think that I had been asleep all night. Ha Ha They were very wrong. However what I find fascinating is that so many years went by long long before I ever started to really contemplate my spirituality.
Yet one universal truth that to me is part of my own Gnosis is that I always felt protected by “the powers that be” at night. Of course when I was young I was brought up to believe in Christianity and the church. However it didn’t take me long to start delving into other religions especially Tibetan Buddhism which I very nearly converted to. However even after nearly three years of studying, chanting, meditating and learning as much as I could about Buddhism it wasn’t meant for me. However when I look back I realise that the now late Lama Khensher Rinpoche was correct when he said to me after looking deep into my eyes,, “Ah I see that you still believe in a Creator God or being of some kind”?
I thought about it really hard and didn’t even want to confess the truth to myself. I felt like such a failure. Yet this very learned dear old Lama could see that I wasn’t meant to convert to Buddhism. He said that my path to divine consciousness lay else where. After I really analysed my own deep seated core beliefs I realised that he was right. It was really hard for me to start alone yet again on another new spiritual quest. However I now have the wisdom of hindsight and know that I needed to learn all I did from Buddhism. Even though in the end it was not meant for me.
Again I keep coming back to being nocturnal. When I was quite young and my Dad used to let me stay up on Friday nights to watch the old Hammer Horror flicks. Of course my favourite movies were always any movie that had a vampire or vampires in it. I was captivated by Christopher Lee playing Dracula. As well as the classic Camilla. I also love the gothic horror film “The Fall of the House of Usher” by Edgar Allan Poe. Little did I know when I was so young that all of these movies along with the archetypes they represent would have such a huge influence on my entire life.
A beautifully dressed Victorian Goth lounging around in a lovely looking park.
They have is so many ways. As a child I used to long for some vampire somewhere to come into my room and turn me into an immortal creature of the night. But alas that was not meant to be. However one thing that watching all those classic movies has taught me, as well as reading the books later, is that our souls are truly immortal. Deep down every human would like to live a healthy prosperous life forever…..if only the could. No wonder the stories of vampires are still so popular today.
It certainly makes sense to me and this is why I see myself as a dark Witch. The dark Goddesses have always appealed to my psyche and it seems that I appeal to them too. They are all so incredibly powerful, beautiful and just fill me with so much awe and they probably always will. Not because I am evil, lol, but because I practice most of my magick and rituals at night. Anyone who really knows me would laugh their heads off at the idea of me being malevolent. As I’m the one whom has “rescued so many lost souls” over the years until they are ready to go it alone. Only if one has truly suffered themselves at the hands of another can one truly empathise and heal without pitying the victim. As all as that does is disempower them to get all the strength they need to make themselves whole again.
My three faced and bodied Hecate or Hekate Triformis Goddess Statue is one of my own Witchy/Occult pride and joys. I’ve wants her forever and here sh is below:
This is the true path who’s Archetype is “The Wounded Healer”. I have a Witchy friend whom is exactly the same and is in one of the caring professions too of course. Just like I used to be before my life was turned around by so much turmoil and ill health. After years of practice and learning I’ve finally found what’s right for me. It may not be for you but “Vive la difference’is what makes the world so magickally fascinating wouldn’t you agree!
However to anyone else who feels the pull of the night? There is nothing wrong with you and it’s all part of whom you truly are. It’s not until we really value ourselves for our own differences rather than our similarities to others that we can really appreciate whom we really are. That’s when we can truly embrace and love ourselves and our differences. As well as our similarities to our “non magickal” fellow human beings.
I love this picture below and find it very empowering as a woman who loves the Occult and also the night along with Goth fashions too.
To all of you women reading this “you are truly a beautiful sacred Goddess” and to all male Witches, Mages or Occultists you are the embodiment of the incredibly “strong and virile Horned God”. Together we have duality, dark and light and polarity. That is one of the true paradoxes that most people aren’t even aware exists not only within ourselves but also the beautiful world that surrounds us. As well as the sacred beauty and gnosis that is within our individual immortal souls. We are all here for our soul’s development to live out our purpose, learn our lessons and hopefully fulfill whatever it is that we incarnated here for to learn. Many Blessings to you all, Love CazWytch. xo
Yours truly below done with my new editing photo app used on my photo below and it also helps me feel like a true Goddess too:) All women and men should celebrate who they are and “share the love” like the Flower Power Generation used to say back in the 1960s. Have a great week everyone.