ME, MY MAGICK, PAIN SURVIVOR & CANNABIS

My name is Caroline or just Caz. This is my brief story about the magick I practice and why? It’s not easy to try and explain to others what you do and why? Sometimes it’s hard to explain to myself. LOL However the magick I practice has become second nature to me now, it’s my life! Also how I’ve survived nearly 1s years of chronic pain without succumbing to its constant debilitating pressure with grace instead of hating my own body for it!

I’m a 53 year old female Australian of mainly Scottish ancestry. As well as some English, Irish and German-Jewish ancestry as well. I’m a Witch/Occultist of Crone age now, I’ve learnt so much in my life’s journey. I work with the Primal Dark Goddesses now as well as the Horned Gods, shamanistic power animals, elementals, Draconic powers, Angels, daemons (demons), my ancestors and occasionally willing disincarnate spirits too.

The writing written on the first photo was given to me by the great beyond, The Goddess I did become for a short time…I was her…and she was me. It was an incredibly soulful and personal experience. This is called “invocation” where a Godform which is some believe is an archetype which has been called upon since antiquity.

Invocation is a very different experience for most people. Sometimes I can maintain my own persona but it’s kind of like being a backseat driver in my own car. Whilst the Godform, Daemon, Angel or whatever sort of disincarnate spirit that your working with is; can often give you knowledge and words which you know are not your own. To others you may appear a bit strange or often a bit clammy and hot probably because your blood pressure is rising until your mortal body gets used to being a temporary vessel by whomever you’ve invoked. Who’s spirit may feel quite overpowering to you, especially at first.

Always be very respectful and careful and know whom your invoking very well before you do so. I could write far more about this and already have when I first invoked the Great Goddess Hekate. She was so incredibly powerful that I felt nauseous and almost collapsed to begin with but thankfully there was a chair to cushion my body at the time.

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The photo below was taken inside the Adelaide Entertainment Centre before going inside the arena to see Robbie Williams Oct. 2015. A great night was had by all. However my point in mentioning this is that entertainers and what “musos” do is “weave real magic”.

Let’s face it big name artists enthrall us not only with their musical talent but with their larger than life personalities as well. We fall for this…..now this is true magic/k being woven amongst us either as a crowd or sitting at home alone listening to a CD….whilst the magick of their music speaks to us through our speakers.

My main blog here on WordPress is called:SURVIVING CHRONIC PAIN WITH MAGICK AND SPIRIT

I picked this name for a reason. The reason being that I’ve survived over 10 years of ill health, multiple chronic pain issues, two autoimmune disorders, mental health issues, multiple medical tests, procedures, a N.D.E. (Near death experience) and multiple operations etcetera that probably would’ve made most people give up. Including a few emergency flights to Adelaide which have literally saved my life which I am eternally grateful for.

Magick – it’s because of studying shamanism, witchcraft, ancient cultures and the occult that made me realise that there was an answer for most of my ailments. It’s the “Spirit of the Plant, Cannabis” which is one of the main reasons that my life is no longer just existence but really living now! Combined with my years of study and practising “The Craft of the Wise” like they did hundreds of years ago without the aid of fancy products.

My point in mentioning all of this is not for sympathy points but for understanding of a huge health problem which is finally coming to the forefront of the News worldwide and even Australia wide now. That issue is legalization of “Medicinal Cannabis”! Chronic pain is the most untreated problem in the Western World. This is all unnecessary and some would say it’s because of “Big Pharmaceutical Companies” whom don’t want us to be able to use something natural like cannabis.

Why? Because Big Pharma has a huge interest in medicating our populations around the world especially in the West. There is a natural alternative and when used responsibly it provides those of Us whom suffer from chronic pain a chance to truly live instead of just existing! Cannabis has given me the power to live well rather than just surviving from day to day Yet our laws here make me a criminal. Which really is such a big laugh to anyone whom knows me as I’ve been a law abiding citizen all my life.

It’s finally been passed in Victorian Parliament that medicinal cannabis is now legal in Victoria. Hurray!!! Now we’ve got to wait for the rest of Australia to catch up.

Its also getting close in Queensland now too. Yet we are one country and its ridiculous that all states here have different views on this very important public health issue. I like so many others suffered needlessly all because our politicians were and some still are so behind on the medical evidence that cannabis works not only on pain but so many multiple medical conditions.

More research is needed and less policing of cannabis. Once it’s decriminalized and medicinal cannabis is freely available to patients on prescriptions. Then this will put so many criminals out of business. As well as saving our youth from being led on to using heavier life threatening drugs from ICE to heroin.

Truly I can tell you that without the help of a certain entheogen “cannabis”, I wouldn’t have been able to attend either concert as the drive home is 2 hours in the car each way which is hard on even a healthy person let alone someone with all my chronic pain and autoimmune illnesses.

Obviously my husband was driving our car that day. Responsible use of cannabis is essential at all times. You don’t drive obviously and you don’t operate heavy machinery. You also shouldn’t make major legal decisions or sign any contracts until any effects of cannabis has worn off.

After such a huge event, I usually suffer for a couple of days and sometimes even a week after  a big event with exhaustion. However it’s more than worth it to me otherwise I would spend my life in bed, and that’s not living. What our Government and others also need to realise is that responsible use of cannabis makes often unbearable medical conditions liveable.

If not for my study and practice into all things occult and more, I may not have survived all that I’ve endured. Of course I’ve always had the loving support of my family and close friends but let’s face it chronic illness is not “sexy”. By that I mean that it’s incredibly isolating because you can’t share your pain experience with another person no matter how close they may be. Nor can anybody even with the best of wishes take it away from you either because in the end “you need to deal with your pain yourself”. Chronic pain also takes its toll on your mental health as well. Now that’s a topic for a whole new blog. LOL

The photo below represents the alchemy which truly is/was my experience on the night that we saw Elton John at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre. We had great seats and the experience was truly magickal. We didn’t get home till after 1am but we didn’t care because we were both so happy!

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Back to me…I guess you could say I’m a middle aged Goth Witch. I hate the term “Elder Goth’. First of all I think it sounds like older people know everything….we don’t. However because we’ve been on the planet so darn long we have learnt a thing or two whilst we’ve been here…after so long. LOL  so I prefer being called “alternative” Because I feel at my age that I no longer fit any stereotype fully anymore.

When you analyse it we all fulfil so many multiple roles. For me it’s Lover, Mother, Wife, Grandmother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Confidant, Nocturnal, Witch, Occultist, Bibliophile, Writer, Counsellor, Artist, Piano player, Bohemian, Goth, Muso, Beach Bum, Creatrix and so much more. There isn’t a category to put me in and nor should there be at my age! Or any age for that matter!



I also have another blog called:
http://enchantedspiritualawakenings.blogspot.com

Which I need to edit and rewrite and post some relevant information on here too. Stay tuned as I will be sharing my N.D.E. (Near death experience) on this blog after I’ve had plenty of time to process the whole experience and understand that it was more sci fi and quantum physics than any kind of religious experience. What I wrote to a friend after my N.D.E. experience barely covered it. I realise that now since time has a way of sometimes making sense of the complete sensory and psychological overload which was my N.D.E. Nothing in my life prepared me for it. But already this blog is far too long. I will revisit this topic though.

The pictures below were taken of my altar last year after doing a very special necromantic healing which went on for three entire moon cycles every single night to save my loved one’s life. Which on the most important night, I did ritual from sunset to sunrise which is written about in a previous blog post on here.2015-01-03-21-44-18-078-1My most recent blog (apart from this one) is about the late great David Bowie, the occult, his music and how it changed my life. As well as the way my body perceives chronic pain.

My most popular blogs are: Entheogens, consciousness, magick and pain.

As well as my blog on: When magick can mean life or death/Saving someone very dear to me (which includes some blood ritual) and other amazing stuff.

Photo below was for Goddess Hekate in her Triformis form or Soteria (World Soul). Hekate has been known since ancient times as the Goddess of Midwives amongst so many other multiple qualities. This was a thank you to Hekate for delivering my newest grand-daughter safely, especially after there were quite a few problems. Which thankfully were all overcome into the successful birth of a new healthy beautiful little female soul into this world. I thank Thee for the new Soul that burns so brightly in our family now.

I should’ve mentioned by now that I’m blessed to be live with, and be married to my soulmate my dear husband. We have 2 beautiful adult children and 4 of the cutest grandchildren ever. As well as our “fur child” a golden English Cocker Spaniel whom is nearly 12 years old now.

We live in rural Coastal South Australia on the cliffs above the ocean which is nearly 2 hours drive away from Adelaide city. It’s very beautiful here and people from Adelaide love to holiday on the Yorke Peninsula whenever they get the chance to come and holiday here. Our home town is known for fishing where people can catch their own “blue crabs”. Which are the most delicious of all the crab species to eat, especially on a hot day with a nice cold Aussie beer.

We are truly blessed to live in our home that is above the cliffs with the ocean as our backyard. This photo is taken just over the road from our house. We live right by a T-junction kinda like a Crossroads…but I can’t be too obvious about what I do. Sometimes we wonder as we both age how on earth could we ever get used to living in “suburbia” ever again? Especially as here we have far more freedom to do what we want to. Like playing our favourite music loudly and here nobody lives close enough to really know or care.

We can dance on the beach naked at night and sometimes even during the day. Not that I’ve ever done that very often. LOL Hell I don’t want to scare any tourists! LOL Only in the “high seasons” like Xmas, Easter and the October long weekend and School holidays that’s when our peaceful town is overtaken by terrorists….er I meant tourists. LOL

img_0005I find it hard to describe what I am magickally and exactly what it is that I do. Why? Because it’s a mixture of everything from shamanism to trancework, to hedge witchery to ceremonial magick, to Tibetan Buddhist practices (trained for 3 years) to sigils and sex magick, from Eclectic Traditional Witchcraft to General Occultism, Spiritualism, Gnostism, Sorcery and so much more ad infinitum with a goth overtone in most of my magickal workings.

I also do divination for others either using my own spirits, power animals, daemons, angels and/or my ancestors either using Tarot Cards of which I now have 7 decks, Oracle cards 2 decks, Angel cards 1 deck, Black Mirror Spirit divination, Dice divination, Bones, Cowrie shells, feathers, mirrors, crystals, my Ouija board and my necromantic skull etc. Necromantic magickal pathworkings and divination are a very serious path indeed. They are to be treated with the utmost respect at all times and not to be used lightly.

The 1st photo below is a necromantic working invoking the Goddess Hekate in her Crone phase. Using my skull (……. ) yes she does have a name, using runes, citrine chips,crystals, ointments, oils and shells with the middle red candle for focus.

The 2nd photo below is of the Sensual Wiccan Tarot deck which is great for relationship or any kinds of sexual problems that a couple may have. I find that most women are naturally drawn to this deck when given a choice….me thinks this fact very interesting indeed.

The 3rd photo below was a healing for a broken heart/health wise. With the help of the Fae, Draconic energies as well as one of my closest ancestors. Her favourite jewellery, shells and crystals etc are in one of her own old China she’ll dish on the left. My maternal Grandmother is always there when I need serious help.


So all of what I’ve described above and more is why I felt that I needed timeout from constant communication online. It’s also why I cancelled my own Facebook account which younger people especially think is weird. However maybe Im just a bit old fashioned. I prefer emails to Facebook because their far more personal and more like a letter. Only difference being is its not handwritten and you can receive is straight away.

I haven’t been as involved online until recently So that I could create and make magick really happen in my own life, for my family and those close and very dear to me. It worked but to do this I mostly needed extended periods of intense meditation, trance work, evocation, invocation and divination.

For my magick to really work, periods of intense introspection otherwise known as “shadow work”.Which can be traumatic and intensely visceral at times but its worth it to come out of the other side.

I often find it hard to describe what I am, what I do and why? Because to be honest it’s a mixture of everything from shamanism to trancework, to hedge witchery to ceremonial magick at times. Paganism to Tibetan Buddhist practices (trained for 3 years) to sigils and sex magick. Eclectic Traditional Witchcraft to General Occultism and Spiritualism and so much more.

Everything that I’ve learnt in this lifetime and more. I will write more about past life memoiries and “de Ja vu” in another blog post. I am a conglomeration of all my studies, experiences, practices and people whom have inspired me and tight me magickal things without even trying.

Blessings to you all,
CazWytch )O( ⭐️💖🌙

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4 thoughts on “ME, MY MAGICK, PAIN SURVIVOR & CANNABIS

  1. Luckily Medical M.J. has been legal here in Oregon since I can remember. I was able to have 24 starts and 12 adult plants at one time. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the medicinal route for me. I couldn’t manage a 2 & 3 year-old while in perpetual couch-lock. Recreational M.J. has finally been legalized (to join legalized gay marriage and assisted suicide) and there are shops all over the place that used to only sell pipes and other accessories. The world will catch up at some point, especially when they realize how much $ there could be had with the taxation of it.

    Chronic pain sucks, and nothing will test one’s spirituality more than ongoing chronic pain that lasts years and years and years….

    Blessings on your Journey )O(

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Zen Witch,
      I’m not sure if you replied awhile ago or recently as today? I’ve been going through my files and deleting lots of emails. But thankfully I came across your gem. Just what I needed to read as its midwinter here in South Australia and it’s freezing. Your right chronic pain really does suck and some days I really struggle just to get through the day. I don’t write this blog for sympathy points in fact my problem is I hide my chronic pain too well from friends and family. Then only when I’m alone on some days but mostly nights where I can’t sleep and my poor husband says “why for the millionth time”? But of course there is no answer.

      It’s terrible that a few years ago I did honestly contemplate euthanasia but I can’t do it to my kids, grandkids now and husband. To be honest if not for my belief in Witchcraft and the occult along with so many paranormal experiences and an N.D.E. a few years back I may have given up. But I refuse to let “the bastards get me down”! I realise like you say that the world will catch up but sometimes it’s so darned hard!

      I know someone in Oregon who smokes MJ legally. She is very lucky indeed! MJ has just been legalised for medicinal use only in Victoria and I keep hoping that soon South Australia won’t be far behind. Chronic pain is such a dreadfully personal battle that most people don’t understand at all. It seems that nearly everyone I know takes their good health for granted whilst I’ve had years of operations, procedures and biopsies. I also have 3 autoimmune disorders one of which means I have a higher chance of getting cancer….yeah great….not!

      Life is what we make it and even on the dark days of tears, “I am thankful to still be here”! Although I know for a fact that the otherside truly is incredible a lot like many quantum theorists say “it’s a multiverse of 7, 9 or 11 dimensions they say”. Their theory links up with my N.D.E. very well.

      That’s why I honestly believe that sometimes for some of us it’s harder to keep living! Not all the time but I will never be cured and as I get older there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight! For obvious reasons I can’t and don’t need to use MJ as much in the warmer weather. But it’s so cold this year I feel like I need heaps!LOL

      Yep if not for my spiritual beliefs (witchcraft/occult), a few close friends and certain friends online too and my family that keep me going. If not for them I may have given up years ago. Thank goodness I didn’t. What I hate about my chronic pain and illness so much is it that it’s made me into quite an introvert when I’ve always been a natural extrovert in so many ways. I just don’t have the energy left to be that lady anymore and like everyone else back then; I took my health for granted. It’s something I shall never do again!

      Take care and Blessings,

      CazWytch.⭐️💖🌙

      Like

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