I am a Survivor of Chronic Pain. This blog is my story of how studying & practicing Magick with consciousness, knowledge and true dedication has changed my life as well as those whom are close to me. I hope that you enjoy your stay and perhaps you may also join me for the ride? Where Magick does really happen….because in the end it's all up to you!
“I am the beginning and the end, don’t you realise that fact”?
I asked the ocean,
“Why do some people have to suffer so much and others have pain free lives”?
The ocean replied,
“Life is unfair to many, just as some fish get eaten by sharks, whilst others live their full life cycle without even having seen a shark”!
I replied to the ocean,
“That’s so unfair to all the fish whom are eaten by sharks whilst they are still so young whilst others go on to spawn, live and swim their entire lives in freedom until the day they die”.
I asked the ocean,
“Why do some of us suffer so?
Whilst those that deserve to do so seem to not suffer? Whilst others get away with hurting one other without ever having a worry in their entire lives”?
The ocean replied,
“I am much older and eternal compared to humanity and believe me when I tell you that I am being polluted and abused every single day.
I am gradually dying whilst most of humanity don’t even care that they are slowly killing me along with all the various species that live within me my caring waves and rely upon me for their survival. That my friend is the truth”!
I replied to the ocean,
“Then life really truly is unfair to the just, whilst often the corrupt, cruel and wrong doers of all kinds continue to thrive in a dog eat dog world, correct”?
The ocean replied to me with so much sorrow in its ancient voice.
“Now you truly understand mine, yours and so many other’s dilemmas, whom suffer for no apparent reason?
From the kindest and the most loving that far too often get hurt by others for a lot of their entire lives”.
But the ocean added,
“Look deeply into their eyes though.
Then you will see what type of people they truly are.
Those whom are like the living dead that exist upon this planet until their lifespan is over here will not survive for eternity for they shall surely die.
Only by the time they realise what they have done! It will be too late for them to undo their lifetime of greed amongst other atrocities to many innocents upon my planet.
Their soul will be gone quicker than the blink of an eye.
Whilst you, I and others like us will achieve immortality and that’s worth far more than any gold, currency, country or power on this your entire planet.
We are the equals to the Gods of man and because of this we shall live on for eternity because our souls are true to our existence and we have learnt that love is the answer to all.
So for that we shall be given immortality, as our souls have earnt eternal life”.
“Like the tidal flows of the ocean continue to wax and wane every single day being controlled by the cycles of the moon in ever single way.
You too will go on to survive your life in your best individual eternal and knowledgeable way.
Which is to be good, loving and caring.
To keep on giving compassion to others whom have less and for that we both shall continue to thrive”.
After listening to the ocean. I thought of her and truly cried and said:
“Thank you so much for giving me your wisdom and understanding of all our individual mortal lives.
I shall continue to love you forever my dear ocean because of your timeless understanding which makes you such a powerful force upon our planet and my own little individual life.
You are full of so much wisdom and love amongst a world whom sadly has become one of greed and lies”.
The ocean replied once more:
“Thank you dear one for you honesty in revealing your inner fears to me whilst fearing for your own future in this mortal life.
You shall always be dear to me always and we shall meet again my friend, both here and upon the other side”.
I replied with much love and gratitude:
“Thank you ocean for your understanding, patience and grace about what’s been happening to myself and those close to me.
When I couldn’t find a reason why?
You my dear ocean have given me true gnosis, knowledge and compassion.
The understanding to keep on going on.
How can I ever thank you my dear ocean”?
Then after that I just heard the lapping of the ocean’s waves against our clay cliffs. Now she is silent but she has given me a gift which is fitting for one whom is of “the Craft of the Wise” because as everyone knows Nature is my Church and the Beach is my sacred space.
At times I feel like a land locked mermaid just like in a faery tale, stuck here without a mermaid’s tail”.
Whom fate has destined me to be here to be there for all those whom need me especially for the disincarnate lost souls. Whom need guidance to find their true home. Whilst I follow my inner third eye.
Thanks to the ocean I truly understand why I am actually here, living, suffering, loving and learning exactly where I am.
I am blessed and loved much especially by the awesome elemental of water the ocean. Along with the elementals of earth, air and fire too along with the fifth elemental spirit. Whom guides all of us to eternal wisdom at the end of all our lives.
And for those of us whom have suffered just to live in justice whilst never harming another. We shall be eternally rewarded and finally go home to where we belong without ever needing to reincarnate or be destroyed as another.
I will always love, listen and learn from the ocean for the rest of this mortal life.
Meanwhile I continue to listen to the music of the rain. Whilst continuing to do my best in this incarnation as after all, I do know what it’s like to suffer and never want it to happen to another.
If I was granted only one wish?
It would be to stop humankind continuing to destroy one another. Always for greed, countries and power, wars are started all in the name of country, religion or empire building.
My wish is for peace!
Therefore inequality, racism and poverty would cease to exist.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?……….
If only I could be granted one wish……….
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Last year when someone whom is intensely close to me family wise was literally dying…..I was told that he only had 48 hours to live. He had been terribly ill for nearly 2 months but I refused to give up. Should I have gone to the hospital to say Goodbye? No….I chose to stay home and create what others saw as a miracle!
I worked myself into a frenzy nearly every single night within that time frame leading up to what we were told was going to be the last night of his life. However it doesn’t matter really what I used or what I said. What is important is to know that my ancestors were with me all the way…..as well as The One That Is All…that is many….yet goes by so many different names. I am not religious at all…….however I am a Spiritualist…..A Witch & Occultist…..and so many things besides.
I’ve always known that I was “different”. Especially when I saw my first Ghost in our local church’s graveyard at night after Choir practice when I was only 10 years old. Because of my “religious upbringing and brainwashing” as a child…..I’ve had to “deconstruct” all of my fears that stem from Religion & Christianity that has haunted me since I was only a child. Overcoming those fears….then studying as well as practicing so many different religions, cultures and various spiritual pathways over the last 25-30 years…..has made me whom I am today. I find it hard to explain to others what I am and what I believe and practice. I am a Witch (not Wiccan) & Occultist is the closest terms I can find to define me…..but of course there is so much more to my beliefs…..there really is no well known world label to define me…..I am just me Caz.
Anyway back to literally “Life and Death”. Even after I was told that (to protect my loved one’s identity, in this blog/article I refer to him as he, him or his). We were told that his organs were really starting to shut down completely and there was nothing more the Doctors at the hospital could do for him anymore. He wasn’t expected to live for more than 48 hours at the maximum. I was shattered to hear this news. However instead of running over to the hospital……to say Goodbye….I decided to continue with my magickal healing work for him…..to get better & live…..but that night I decided to take a deep and fearful step into the unknown. However I did something that most magickal practitioners of any kind would never dare to do….but being me……I decided to do it anyway. Why? Because I love this man so very much (no it’s not my husband), I decided to sacrifice something far more precious than the rarest Crystal, incense or herb etcetera ad infinitum in the entire world.
That very night I literally sacrificed part of myself…….the very essence of what it means to be human…..I did so for my love of “him” from that night’s sunset to sunrise with such an intensity and an energy…….that I knew was not my own. It was truly not of this world……why? Because it was The Divine Consciousness, Intelligence, Knowing and Compassion for all that is far beyond our mere mortal understanding. I’m sure that you know whom/what/she/it….I am writing about now…..it’s beyond any mere human belief system that is for sure.
Ritual first, then continuation of my spell crafting, trance work, ecstatic dancing, spirit possession from one of my very wisest ancestors whom is full of wisdom and he told me what I really had to do, even though I was actually afraid to do so at the time. I must admit that I had heard of it….knew of it…and I had read various ideas surrounding this particular practice from certain occult tomes….that even many Occult practitioners themselves don’t understand…..I can’t detail it here for many reasons as for some it wouldn’t be safe for me to do so via this blog. But I shall come back to this at the end.
A Mortality Spell or Working is not for the faint hearted. Not only do you really need to be willing to sacrifice part of your own life…… and to really understand what that truly means? By that I’m actually saying part of your own lifespan from this particular lifetime/incarnation.
What I did was actually make a pact……….using my own blood in sacred ways and amounts which I cannot express here….! Sincerely I wish that I could…….but to do so would be incredibly naive and irresponsible of me to do so. As obviously I don’t want to be responsible for anyone doing anything like this……as its so very easy to get wrong…..then a person may have regrets……and as far as I know it can’t ever be undone. Thank goodness I actually got it right!
So if a person changes their mind? Because once you’ve done this particular ritual using not only your own sacred elixir (your own blood) but part of your own actual lifespan……that you’ve actually agreed upon….it’s already actually gone from you…..before it is gifted to your dying loved one. Whatever amount of time (days, weeks, months or years) that you’ve agreed upon to be taken from your life….which you’ve then agreed to gift to your dying loved one is permanent……it cannot be undone! This is so important to note…….I cannot express this enough! There is no going back and changing your mind. When it is done it is done forever.
Now what I’ve done…..I did with sacred guidance…..I’ve done it for “him” to live a fair bit longer now…….I know that I can probably never do this again, not in this lifetime…..because if I do? I could end up with a much shorter lifespan in this incarnation indeed. Some may say that I should never have done it…….but I did and I don’t regret it whatsoever. I don’t want to live to 95-100 in some Nursing Home….no way……So because of this “gnosis” (divine knowing)…..I didn’t hesitate to do this for “him”…….because I love him so much…..and it was too young for him to die.
I can’t describe what I actually did here in extreme details on this blog because as most Witches & Mages etc would know that the Witches Pyramid taken from Hermetics is:
TO KEEP SILENT
When a Godform, Spirit or any disincarnate entity enters your body it can be a completely different experience than what most people read about…..or see on TV with so called psychic mediums…….it’s a totally “visceral” experience. It can take you by complete & utter surprise. However once you make a blood mortality pact….with a Spiritual Being……it can totally overwhelm you……to the point of becoming almost unconscious……but not quite. Seriously towards the sunrise of the following morning……I honestly felt like I may have been done for…..I thought that I may not have as much time left as I had thought? It was an incredibly humbling……at times frightening…..and yet an incredibly exciting experience! Because I knew from how I was feeling that it was going to work….I just knew it would…..and it did!
Now depending on your own magickal practice and understanding thereof……it can be incredibly frightening for anyone…..no matter how “experienced” you think that you may be……we’re dealing with “mortality” here…….and that is not to be taken lightly……but very seriously. I felt afterwards that the agreed upon time, afterwards may have been that night…….there and then…..for “me to die” that is…….But thankfully it wasn’t…..however it was the Incredible Being……….that is neither male nor female……it just is and always has been…….it’s what even Scientists to this day can’t explain which was there before “The Big Bang’. They call it the “God Particle”……after scientists re-enacted The Big Bang with the Swiss Hedroncollider. Sorry if my spelling is wrong here….but you can always Google it if your really interested…..but most people have heard of this universal experiment.
Then that morning in one of the Biggest Hospitals within Australia……The Drs went in to examine “him”……expecting him to be just about to take his last gasp…and then die. But Wow…….they were they all in for a huge surprise that day. His main Specialist Dr. examined him…..then checked all his neurobs….heart rate, bodily functions, blood pressure, his awareness and cognition etc…….then when his Dr. really examined him…….in excruciating detail……the Dr. himself truly couldn’t believe it…..because suddenly he was healing…..instead of dying…..Whereas only hours before he was right by Death’s Door.
Obviously I can’t go into details of his dreadful illness……but it’s known as one of the deadliest fatal diseases that eats away the skin, fat, muscles and then right down to the bones…..then all the organs shutdown……and then it’s all over…..for everyone that has ever had this disease…..ever! However that was not to be….for my dear one. He literally escaped death and he has since told me that he was in his words “really preparing to die that night”. Then during the early hours he thought of me……for whatever reason/s……that’s what he told me afterwards…….that he realised that he wasn’t going to die that night or day after all ……then suddenly he realised somehow that he was going to survive this…..what 99.99% of people never ever can do. I’m quite sure that “his case” has been written up in Australian Medical Journals…..because nobody has ever survived this with no after affects or damage left whatsoever!
Then after the first Dr. had examined him and thought it was a total “miracle”……yeah right……lol…..then his treating Dr. went running down the corridor to tell all the other Specialist Drs & nurses on duty…….yelling “It’s a miracle, it’s a miracle”……..and I thought all Drs. we’re Atheists…lol…..Anyhow my loved one became the celebrity of the entire hospital….as they all wanted to examine him one by one…..and of course medical science couldn’t explain his incredibly fast tracked healing. Whilst his main Dr. kept declaring it a miracle! Maybe he was a Catholic……who knows? Then my loved one declared;……”No I told you that my “…..” is a Witch. I knew she would heal me and she has…..you see Dr. So & So….That’s why I’m going to get better and walk out of here very soon. “Oh no”…..his Dr. said…”it’s way too soon to even think about that Mr. ……..”.
Just over a week later he went home and was recovered enough to walk properly……..No amputations……..no ill affects whatsoever. That’s when even the Drs, themselves had no rational explanation……..Until one of them said, “maybe there is something to this Witchcraft stuff that we have yet to understand”? Which is a huge thing coming from a Dr. As most Drs. are mostly always atheists. As you can well imagine I was so overwhelmed……so incredibly happy that my mere words can’t express my joy……..at this news at the time! That’s when I really realised that all the studying, trial and error and years of practice had been more than worth it…..to save “his life” that meant so much to me…..and he always will. All our Family members were elated……close members understood…….but when “he” told more distant family members they were either “skeptical or spooked”……at hearing the word “Witch & Life saving” all in the same sentence. People quite morgen don’t want to believe…….even when the “evidence” is right before their eyes……either because of religion or because of Society’s prejudice…….in general against anything that it not mainstream…….which the masses just can’t understand.
Before this momentous event for our family, I had only ever used my Magick for far smaller things…….however I knew they worked. The biggest before this event for me personally…….was after years and years of various incurable chronic pain conditions…..I used a certain “entheogen” which is written about in detail in my previous blog post…..along with Witchcraft to change my entire life….and it all really has. Which I might add I use very, very sparingly now. That’s because my own healing rituals are now bearing fruit. I have the same medical conditions……however I know that I’m healing from the inside out. When anybody sees me…..whom hasn’t seen me for a year or so…..they always say….”I can’t believe it….your like the old “you” again”. Meaning the old me before I was struck down…….in the peak of my career and life……and almost became completely bedridden,
All as a I can humbly say……..is that Magick has not only changed and saved my life…..but also a very close family member…..and on top of that Magick also made somebody very dear to me’s childbirth go so extremely well….unlike her first birth…..even though she was categorized as “high risk”…..everything went perfectly as the night beforehand…..I just felt somehow a calling from beyond to do a full ritual invoking Hekate whom in her many three multi faceted forms…..has also been known since ancient times to be the “Goddess of Midwifery”. I’m so glad that I did my Magick that night…because the next night “she” had a natural birth with no complications…..for Mum or Baby…..So a beautiful little soul was brought into the world…..the very next evening after my magickal ritual……despite all the Dr’s concerns. Like beforehand……my family & everyone……thought it was another miracle…..but now those close to me whom I love….no better that’s for sure.
I must admit that I could only ever do a mortality magickal working for someone whom is truly close to me….that I truly love……as it has & will eventually cost me quite a bit some day” & I don’t mean financially, lol, that’s for sure. I’m sure that “you all know” what I mean…..right! Hopefully I still have many, many years ahead of me…..but then again none of us know when it’s our time to leave this life?…..And when we do…..I believe that we all have a time that we are destined to enter this world…..as well as the time that we are meant to exit this world……!
What I’ve tried to describe above is not purely Witchcraft, High Magick, blood ritual, Shamanism etcetera or anything else…..it’s a mixture thereof…..but I can tell you that it works….and only should ever be used if one really needs to……as well as really wanting to…..with every fibre of a person’s being…….also only for somebody they love immensely. For as in every “action…..especially in Magick…….there is a reaction”….and that’s the universal lore/law…..and that’s my story…..and why I did/do so for those I truly love…….more than my own life itself.
One thing I’ve learnt over all these years is that the more I study, practice and keep on learning about all kinds of Magick from so called “sympathetic or low Magick & Ceremonial Magick”, Shamanism, Blood Ritual (self only, never ever harming any animals), Paganism etcetera…….as well as all major world religions from multiple cultures and so many different multiple spiritual pathways……the more I realise I have yet to learn…..for the rest of this incarnation…….which is this life for me.
This mortal life is so very short and most people don’t seem to realise that it’s all over in the “blink of an eye”….in universal terms.
As magickal people I feel it is our duty to help others in need. Even people whom are using different magickal pathways……there can always be more to learn from others……As well as more that “we can teach” them also. No one pathway whether it be Wicca or Witchcraft or Shamanism vs Psychic mediums etc etcetera……in the end it is all up to the individual……you, your knowledge, your skill set…..and most of all your compassion for those whom you truly love.
Obviously I could never do a “Mortality Working” for somebody I don’t even know….as I’m sure you must realise…..we only have so much mortality ourselves. Again I’m sorry that I can’t publish more about it in detail on here. However if you really understand what your getting into? As well as what it truly means? I’m happy to advise you….if your truly genuine etc……but in the end it is all up to you……your practice……your spirits……and most importantly what are you prepared to do……to sacrifice……as well as giving up some of your own mortality for your loved one? Ask yourself these questions……long and hard……over and over…..until you finally reach a decision……no matter what that decision may bring? It’s your life……it’s your practice & Magick…..thus it is your decision to make……and yours alone…….never, ever let anyone try to make you do something that you truly don’t want to do. That is wrong……both magickally, morally and ethically.
Well this is my story from what I have learnt and experienced…..it’s taken me a lot of time & some harsh life lessons as well….But take it from this “Now Crone” of 52 years of age…….(Grandmother to 4 children)….never be too proud to ask other magickal people for advice? As all of us as magickal practitioners…..no matter what we call ourselves……..Whether you are a High Priest or a Priestess, Mage, Wizard, Shaman, Psychic, Medium, Clairvoyant, Empath or a Buddhist Monk etc? We can all learn from each other…….no matter what our current pathway is at this time in our life….and in the end….does it really matter? We are all learning and “remembering hidden knowledge” from previous lives….as many Witches and Occultists etc like to quote.
Because in the end,……pwe are all one and The One is All….no matter what labels mankind and it/his/her/their cultures and religions put upon the Universal Consciousness which is so far beyond our human minds…..it/he/she/one/they ad infinitum is so far beyond our human understanding. Yet it is there…..eternal…..immortal…..everlasting……and vastly incredible!!! Always there, always listening and always waiting….for us…our family’s….and our own immortal incarnate souls.
Every lifetime for everyone knows sadness and joy….tragedy and sorrow…….work and holidays…….belief systems and/or religion/s whether we outgrow and change them or not…..we all lose people and attend funerals but we also welcome new babies into our family’s with joy……we all laugh and we all cry…….we all feel pain and suffer at some times…….we all feel relief…….and of course in the end we all grow old and weary……then our worn out earth body dies……just like a set of clothes……we leave our body behind us…but then our immortal souls go on forever……we will all live again…….in some way in some form…..somewhere out there…..out there in the Universe…..or as some Quantum Physicists like to say…….the a Multiverse……I personally favour that due to my own Near Death Experience a few years back now……it still has a huge impact upon me…..to this day! But that’s a whole other story for another blog post sometime.
Please let me know what your thoughts are on this controversial subject that I have written about above? Below in the comments section or if you would rather email me to find out more privately? Such as mortality, Magick & Blood rituals etc? As I can’t responsibly publish some things for the safety of some people…that may decide to try things that they truly don’t understand…..nor the consequences thereof. Magick is not a game…..especially this kind of Magick….it can change lives….but in the wrong hands it can break lives too.
I can be reached at: email@example.com If I don’t answer straight away it’s not because I’m not going to. It’s just that some days just like everybody else in this life, I can’t always fit everything into every single day. However I will do my best to reply to you ASAP….because I always do that….especially to those that ask me for help…..and if I can? I will do my best to do so.
Blessings to you all & Thanks for stopping by and reading this blog. There will be more from where this came from that’s for sure.